Forgiving my younger self
Catharsis is the process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from strong or hard emotions. Dr. Irvin Yalom, an esteemed psychiatrist, was a big believer that catharsis occurs in group therapy when participants gain insight through interaction with others, which causes a significant shift in the way they respond to life. These insights are often accompanied by strong emotions that trigger the release of pain or anger related to old psychological wounds. I knew that as a provider, I needed to experience this.
From a personal perspective, participating in a group therapy session seemed to be just what I needed to face down my own ghosts. While I have accomplished many things in my life, I have spent too much time focusing on my past mistakes and shortcomings. I lacked the capacity for self-forgiveness which I have worked on in earnest for the last five or six years. In addition to being extremely hard on myself, I also felt I had to apologize for being a strong and opinionated woman. My voice has always been there, but the group helped clarify and hone it. I watched other women doubt themselves, apologize for asking for what they needed, and feeling as if they were not enough. I found my voice and said no more. I have a responsibility to other women, especially the generations behind me to be a strong voice for other women. I need to help lift and amplify their voices, to speak for those who cannot yet do it for themselves.
When I started the group session, we practiced being true to ourselves through the process. There was not a day that I was not 100 percent committed to being fully present and authentic. I spoke my truths and challenged others to do the same, but you still walk away and wonder what others thought of you. Luckily, I know. We all wrote notes to each other in our group, and I am going to share those observations and let you decide for yourself.
“Thank you for being a strong model of womanhood, motherhood, and inner strength. You are an inspiration.”
“I hope to be like you one day. Thank you for always listening. You have been the biggest blessing.”
“Your kind and nurturing spirit along with the occasional caring confrontations helped spark so many insights and growth.”
“I was listening every time you spoke.”
“You have been a great role model for all of us ladies.”
Forgive the younger version of yourself. You aren't her anymore.